How feeling “Stuck” makes great Courageous Leaders
“You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” Brene Brown
Who are Courageous Leaders?
Courageous leaders are people who are able to push through uncomfortable situations. They are willing to make difficult decisions and do not back down when things get too hard. Courageous people believe in themselves. They have strong values, recognize their personal capabilities, and are confident in meeting the challenges that lie before them.
We know we need a lot more Courageous Leaders in the world. As a leader, do you think, well how do I do it? How do I get to become a courageous leader?
Answer: look no further than yourself and your stories. What are you telling yourself that’s stopping you be the courageous leader you know you are?
For many, feeling “stuck” paralyses them. They believe something is wrong with them, they go into analysis paralysis which stops them stepping up and being the courageous leader they really are.
Stuckness is not a sign that there is something wrong with you. It’s a sign you want to grow.
As soon as we see stuckness as a sign we want to grow, we will unlock the keys to growth, empathy and courageous leadership. Feeling stuck is an invitation for us to look within, yes, it’ uncomfortable, we are stepping out of our comfort zone but we need to do it. We need to understand what’s really stopping our growth and find the unique power hiding behind our stuckness. Once we can do this for ourselves, we not only become happier and more confident in ourselves, we are then stronger for others. Stronger Self. Stronger Leader.
How does “Stuck” show up?
“Stuck” manifests itself in many different ways. If you feel one or more of the below, you know how it feels…..:
you have just stepped into a new role and don’t want to be found out as an imposter
you don’t feel good enough, especially if you are a perfectionist
you don’t feel ready for something you really want to do
you know you want a change but don’t know what change looks like and it’s easier to just keep working hard and doing the work you do know how to do, even it is not fulfilling anymore
you really want to do something - a conversation, a promotion - but you have a million reasons not to do it
Then you start being hard on yourself, “How could you feel stuck? You have a great job, great title, great family….. there is clearly something wrong with you.” There is nothing wrong with you.
Through hundreds of hours of coaching and coach training, I now understand the gift of feeling “stuck”.
When I look back over my two decades as a lawyer, I remember quite clearly when I felt stuck.
I felt stuck when I was deciding to leave private practice and go in house.
I felt stuck when I was transitioning into my new head of legal role.
I felt stuck when I wanted to start my business.
It felt really uncomfortable. The impact is that we stay in analysis paralysis. We stay in inaction. We don't do the things that we really want to do. We basically beat ourselves up, and that's what stuck is all about. It's about staying where we are and beating ourselves up about it.
The truth is that you're not actually stuck. You're scared to do what you really need to do and it's easier to say that you are stuck and to not do anything. Stuckness is not a sign that there is something wrong with you, it’s a sign that you want to grow. There are many gifts that you discover when you are stuck. One is that it makes you a Courageous Leader.
How does feeling “stuck” make great Courageous Leaders?
Courageous leaders empathise, they are ok with feeling uncomfortable. Having been stuck, they understand how to be ok with being uncomfortable, being ok having uncomfortable conversations. It’s all about growth, their growth and in particular, growth of others.
They ask you how you feel and if you say “stuck” they ask you what you are afraid of, what do you really want to do and what’s really holding you back. They do this, because, they also felt “stuck” at some point in their career and are vulnerable enough to admit this and share their story. Feeling “stuck” was the reason they got a coach, spoke to their mentor, got support and took an action that helped them be in the position they are today.
Feeling “stuck” was the start of their journey to look within, to work out what they really wanted and how they can serve others, they got comfortable feeling uncomfortable, they took action when they really didn’t want to. They stepped out of their comfort zone not knowing what was going to happen. Having chosen courage over fear, they are committed to others doing the same.
If you are a Courageous Leader, let others know your story so they can learn from you. Mention the power of feeling “stuck” and what you did to get unstuck and grow.
How to go from “Stuck” to “Courageous Leader”?
Embrace the feeling of being stuck and acknowledge that it's a sign that you want to grow and an empowering story you can share as a Courageous Leader.
Confront reality head-on. Ask yourself; what you are afraid of? what do you really want to do? what’s really holding you back?
Seek support. We all have blind spots that impact the way we interact with others, in particular ourselves.
Acknowledge there is nothing wrong with you, you are stepping out of your comfort zone into your growth zone and it feels uncomfortable and scary.
Be kind to yourself and believe in yourself.
Take action, any action, start with small changes.
Be brave, choose courage over fear.
Make decisions and move forward. Especially in environments of fear and intense change, it feels unsafe to commit to a decision and move ahead. Avoid 'analysis paralysis' and make the decision. Forward movement is always better than being stuck. Be Courageous!
By focusing on getting unstuck, growth, feeling uncomfortable, making decisions you don’t want to make, you are a Courageous Leader.
If you want one key tip to help get unstuck and open the door to Courageous Leadership, I’d love to hear from you, please call. Book Here