How to create the headspace you crave with one simple tool
“Writing is medicine. It is an appropriate antidote to injury. It is an appropriate companion for any difficult change.” – Julia Cameron
I remember waking up each morning and immediately thinking of my to do list. What do I need to do today?
My head was so full of what needs to happen. I knew deep down that I needed to make time for myself. I needed to sit down with myself and work out what I really wanted to do, and not just what I felt I needed to do.
I have a “To Do list” of all the actions to take for my work and for my family. I have a “To Do list” of all the things that I think I need to do for myself. I very rarely get to everything on my To Do lists, but especially the list about myself.
I really needed headspace in 2020, it was a tough year and there was no escaping. Thankfully, due to my coaching journey, I knew how to create the headspace that I craved five, six years ago.
This article is all about creating the space that I craved for such a long time.
I remember waking up many mornings with a foggy head where I would get up and just go into automatic mode; think to do list, get myself up, get the kids up, get them off to school, get myself off to work, I was on automatic pilot.
I needed automatic pilot because my head was so foggy. I couldn't do much more. But, I got tired of having a foggy head, and I wanted to be more inspirational, I wanted to have more magic, I wanted to feel as if I was flowing in my actions, but I just wasn't able to get it. Why did I get a foggy head? Well, often, when we are busy, we go to what we know best, the “to do list”. Our work goals and our home chores and we stick to know what we know best. And that's what I was doing. Too tired, too scared to change my routine to change any habits. Everything just seemed a little bit too much, until it got too much. I needed to change I needed to do something but I didn't know what to do.
I was recommended an amazing book called “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron, and that's when my life changed. I started journaling. I, of course, fought it at first!
What is Journaling?
Journaling is basically just having a brain and writing dump. Writing everything that comes into your head, your conscious and sub-conscious. It’s not writing your to do list. It's not a diary writing about events. It's not about what you've done.
It's about writing down everything that you feel, everything that is on your mind, it is a complete writing dump. No one else will read it, it's private to you and it's about getting everything down on paper. You don’t even have to reread it. In fact, please wait at least 8 weeks before rereading if you ever want to.
Some Journaling ideas
The key questions I ask myself each day when I journal are:
How do you feel today? Why do you feel that way? What are your thoughts today? Why?
How do you want to feel today?
These simple questions immediately get me to focus on my feelings, to focus on me. Not on my to do list but actually on me, and from that place, I am able to download my happy feelings, my sad feelings, my cheesed off feelings, everything that's in my head taking up valuable and needed space. By doing that, I'm taking it out of my head onto paper, I'm releasing those feelings.
Also, I am going deeper. Why do I feel the way that I do? What's going to help me feel better? Why do I feel happy? I am creating my own space, my own special space for just me and my thoughts. I get to dive deeper into them, and I get to see my thoughts for what they really are. They are just thoughts, they are just beliefs, they are just feelings. They're not there to dictate how I show up each day, I choose how I show up in each day, and I can have all those feelings, and yet still choose to show up and be happy. That's my choice.
I'm creating the space for me to have that choice by journaling.
Don't just take my word for it. Studies have shown that journaling is one of the best techniques for improving mental health for both men and women. So how do you do it?
How to Journal
Acknowledge that you're going to fight it, you're likely to think, like I did:
“Oh, God, just another thing to do. Having a book and writing things! Really!? I’m not 13! I write things down all the time, I'm constantly writing my to do list.”
Stop and breathe.
Change is a process, it’s not an event, there's no single thing that anyone's ever going to tell you, that's a silver bullet to helping you feel better, and clearing the space and making the space that you want. You have to take small steps. So, the first small step is to stop fighting it, try something new.
If you want to create headspace. This is one simple thing that you can do. And just think, what would you do if you had that new space? If you woke up each day excited, and you went into work and started your working day excited, rather than with a foggy head? What would that difference mean to you?. If that's huge, then please do this.
Grab a book to write in.
Handwriting is key, not your electronic device. Write as close to first thing in the morning, as you possibly can. Something is better than nothing, so if you do it at some other time in the day so be it. I personally get up earlier in order to journal first thing to set me up for the day.
Set a timer.
At first it may be that you could only do 10 minutes, or 15 minutes, and that's okay, but set a timer and write as much as you can. 30 minutes is ideal for me. Do not stop, just write, write and write.
Write quickly.
Don't judge, don't stop to think, just write and keep writing. Don’t be surprised if the first few weeks or months, you find yourself just ranting about others. There might be lots of anger, resentment. It’s ok. It’s completely normal, you are clearing thoughts and feelings in a way you have never done before. Lots will come up and that’s ok. Do not judge yourself.
Do it every day.
Keep it private.
Don't share it or read it, that's not the point.
As always, be kind to yourself, if you miss a day, if you write things you would never want anyone else to see. It’s all ok, you are taking a small step to give you back the calm headspace that you need. This is your journey and it’s all ok, be kind to yourself and celebrate the brave step you are taking.
Why is journaling so powerful.
The power of journaling lies in the fact that you are writing everything down, it's processing, it's honesty challenging, it’s a new safe space where you can be really honest with yourself.
It's inspiring, it's revealing. You get to check in on yourself every day.
You get to ask yourself questions and you get to answer those questions. It's a type of self-connection.
It's pure and private between you and the writing.
You'll get insights, you are creating space for more creative ideas.
You will have a time to practice kindness and compassion with yourself.
It's not about judgement or fear. It's heart based.
There is no right or wrong in whatever you write.
It's about being present to how you actually feel.
It’s the most private and safest place to release all those feelings and words that you would not want to share with anyone else.
With time, it will become a place for you to write your dreams and ideas, your intentions.
“Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.” – William Wordsworth
Enjoy the journey and let me know how you get on or book a call if you need one tip to help you create the calm new headspace you crave.