Why talking about race is liberating and key for inclusion

What’s the big deal!?.

 “Oh, I'd love to know how to how to talk about race.”

“It's something I've always wanted to do but just don't know how to do it”

“that's a ridiculous topic, if you want to talk about race, just talk about it.”

“If people want to talk about where they are from, they should just do it! But we don’t all need to do it.”

Today's article covers why it is crucial to talk about race in organisations. How to do it and what are the results.

I often support organisations to talk about race, through a panel events, or listening circles or workshops. It's amazing what comes out of those sessions and what those sessions spark within organisations.

Why it’s important to talk about race.

I qualified as a lawyer in 2000 and enjoyed working as a corporate lawyer in the City. After a decade I moved to a new company. I always had this intermittent stuck feeling, this feeling of something wasn't quite right, but I didn't know what it was. Then I’d remember, I'm  getting more and more great work from clients, I'm getting more and more acknowledgement from managers from my team, things are working really well. I'm not happy about something, I don't know what it is, but think there's just something wrong with me. I felt this way for the first 10 years of my career and just thought that was the norm. Whenever I felt that way, I just worked harder, I did more work because I knew that worked.

In January 2009, I was invited to sponsor and attend an ethnic minority employee resource group. Firstly, I was amazed that these resource groups actually existed. I was 33, and I looked around the room and the majority of people were not white. That was a first time in my career. Secondly, they openly talked about race, where they were from, their experiences. Their experiences resonated with me. I started talking about myself in a way that I had never spoken before, it was so liberating, I felt as if I was “coming out”. I no longer felt stuck. I opened this door where I could bring my whole self to work.

No one in my career had ever told me not to talk about race. I’d just never seen or heard anybody do it. By not hearing it, I couldn't see what was possible or understand the impact that it would have. The impact was immense. I felt for the first time that I truly belonged, and that I could talk about anything at work.

From that day onwards, I made it my mission to talk about race, to talk in a way that I've never spoken before and it's had a huge impact on the way that I built up my team. When I left my team after 10 years, the one thing that everybody said unanimously, was that the culture within the team was what they loved the most. The culture was based on the foundation of bringing your whole self to work, it was all about equality, openness and belonging. According to the McKinsey & Company Report “Diverse wins: How Inclusion Matters” (19 May 2020), equality, openness and belonging, are the core components of inclusion.

I was never open or felt that I belonged, because I never spoke about race, I never spoke about the true me. I never heard anybody else talk about it. How can we have an organization's where we don't talk about race and expect people to feel that they belong? How can we expect people to be open when we're not having the conversations about where people are from, where they originate from, who they actually, their history, their culture, their real sense of who they are?.

I was born in Cardiff, and am Bangladeshi origin. You'll never know me as a person unless you know that, because being Bangladeshi origin and Welsh is a huge part of who I am and how I show up each day.

People often explain to me that they have a “work them” and a “home them”. I get it and respect it. For me, that doesn’t work. I tried that for many years and it didn’t work for me. I needed to bring my whole self to work and home, that’s my core strength.

What stops us talking about race and what can we do about it.

1.     Life at work and large “to do” list.
When I walked into the office, life was immediately about work, my to do list, my clients , work, achieving, keeping everyone happy. I didn’t think of myself. I was never on my “to do” list. What changed? I landed at the top of my do list!, and so, my passion for diversity, equity, inclusion became number one on my to do list too. I still did all the work I needed to but was much happier doing it!

2.     Fear
I often felt too scared to talk about race, diversity, equity and inclusion because I felt I wasn't an expert. I'm a recovering perfectionist so unless I've done all the courses and read everything, I couldn't possibly be an expert! I thought;  “I’d make things worse, I’m a lawyer, so I'm just going to stick to that.”

“Maybe I really am a coconut”. I was called a coconut many times in my life, brown on the outside, white on the inside and it really hurt.

There's a lot of fear, fear in getting it wrong, fear in offending someone, fear in being “found out!”.

But………………

What's the upside of talking about race? 

• It’s liberating.

• It’s Human.

• Everyone has a story, a journey.

• It’s a way to connect.

• Everyone can be part of the conversation.

• It opens the door to bringing your whole self to work.

• It activates diversity.

How to talk about race

1.     Think about your mindset

You can adopt a mindset where you think and say to yourself, I believe in inclusion. There is no silver bullet. Because I believe in it, I can show up each day and try something new. I’ll make mistakes and learn from them. I’ll start talking about myself and ask questions that open up conversations for others.

2.  Be Courageous
Choose courage over fear. Take small actions but take action. Silence isn’t a great option. It can feel really uncomfortable talking about race. This just means you are growing. Feeling uncomfortable, having courageous conversations is a good thing, it’s growth, embrace this new meaning.

3.     Spot the Myths.

• I'm not an expert.

• I’m waiting for a silver bullet.

• I've got too much to do. If I start talking about race, people are going to ask me to organise something. I'm going to have to do it all.

• I don’t have the right vocabulary.

• It’s going to be a disaster.

• It’s too hard.

• I’m not going to be able to fix this so why bother.

They are myths and not the truth, don’t let them dictate your actions or non-action.

4.     Be curious, courteous and collaborative

When talking about race. Ask curious, courteous questions. Collaborate in the conversation, offer up how you are feeling in the moment.

Having diverse organisations is great but not enough. We need to activate diversity. Talking about race helps to activate diversity. Asking about people's names and where they originate from is a great conversation starter. Don't wait for that silver bullet, giving you the language and the vocabulary to talk about race, it doesn't exist. We have to develop our own language. If we don't talk about race, we are preventing many bringing their whole selves to work. If we do talk about race, we start to create the inclusive organisation that we all want. If we don't talk about race, we stay as we are. That's the choice. You don't need to be an expert, you just need to show up and believe in inclusion, and talk about yourself and your journey of origin and invite others to do the same. Enjoy the journey.