Yes I can!
Do you spend most of the time thinking about what you can do or what you can’t do?
Be honest…..
What would it feel like to wake up each morning and say and believe “Yes, I can!”
Too often, we wake up, dread the to do list and think about all the things we can’t do! This creates negative thoughts and energy which leave us feeling stuck and exhausted before we’ve even started.
Maybe it’s:
Making a decision
Having an uncomfortable conversation with a team member
Finishing a board presentation or a tricky piece of work
But you just keep thinking, I need more information, I need to do more research, I need…..I need…..and again you feel stuck.
Because you're thinking about these things and having these internal “conversations”. You're paralysed in inaction. Nothing is happening. You are stuck.
You feel frustrated with yourself and anxious at the looming deadline. You start being harsh on yourself. “Why can’t you just do it?.” “Why is it taking so long?”.
Does this resonate?. I definitely felt the above in my career, both working in law firms and corporates.
I remember my first board presentation. It took me weeks to prepare!. I then did the presentation which took 15 minutes, and the feedback was great.
How would it have been different if I had started with “Yes, I can!”
What was stopping me?
I was procrastinating.
It took me so long because I was overthinking it, I went into perfectionist mode and nothing was happening.
At the time, I thought it was just me. I thought I just take longer than anybody else. This is the way I work, I need time to process. I thought it was just me.
But the truth is, procrastination and perfectionism are both fear in disguise.
What’s important about Fear?
We always notice when we're not doing anything. But do we ever look behind why we're not doing something?.
I remember spending time with my coach working out why I was procrastinating and what I could do about it.
What is the fear behind procrastination? For some, it’s a fear of failure; the fear of being judged; the fear of being seen as a fraud; the fear of being wrong.
I have felt all of these fears and they always show up in me procrastinating or becoming a perfectionist. It’s all about what can go wrong, what I can’t do.
Once I realised this, I was able to spot my fear.
So each time I find myself spending too long on something, I say “Oh, hello, is that fear?. What am I afraid of?” and……..move my thoughts to “Yes, I can”.
I challenge the fear and say Yes I Can!
The Fear Challenge
I start with “Yes, I can”.
I challenged the beliefs that lay behind the fear. The belief that I would get it wrong, the belief that I wasn't an expert, the belief that I was going to fail, the belief that I was going to be found out. I challenged those beliefs with the facts. What do I know in my heart? Do have I have enough information to make this decision? If, yes, take action (any action, big or small but get acting). If no: take the action to get the information you need.
Procrastinating was sucking up a lot of time and energy. I had less time and energy to spend on things that I enjoy. I felt frustrated, anxious and panicked.
And all because of my fears and thinking about what I can’t do.
So what happened.
The turning point was discovering that once I'd spotted my fear, I had a choice. Yes!
We have a choice.
Why start your day with “Yes I can” & choose courage over fear?
Accept fear, make excuses and procrastinate VS Be brave and take action = CHOICE
If I look back at my journey. I was brave, and believed “Yes, I can” when:
I put my hand up and asked to lead a huge project
I had the conversations I really didn’t want to have
I asked for more support
I asked for a promotion
I left private practice and went in-house to build a legal team
I left a great legal career to set up my coaching business
I said, “Yes, I can”. It felt uncomfortable but I grew in each of those moments. I was also petrified at the same time, it felt like I was free falling, praying that the parachute would open! That's what being brave is all about. It's about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Fear and courage often go hand in hand and are not mutually exclusive.
Saying “Yes, I can” doesn’t mean you know the outcome or all the answers. It means you believe in yourself to take action and work it out for the best for everyone.
I have never regretted being brave. I have regretted not doing something.
How to choose courage over fear and live up to “Yes, I can”?
Spotting fear. Do you procrastinate? Turn into a perfectionist?
Accept it's a choice to choose courage over fear.
What does brave look like in this situation?. Can I do this on my own or do I need help?
Focus on the end result and ask yourself how you would get there if there was no fear.
Practice self-compassion and patience with yourself and take action (any action!).
Choose courage over fear.
Start your day with “Yes, I can”.
I'd love to know about your fears and what one brave thing you are doing this week? Please do let me know.