How is procrastinating holding you back?
Have you ever had that feeling when you know you need to have an uncomfortable conversation with a team member or manager, but you've been putting it off and it’s constantly playing on your mind. You moan about it internally, but you just can't bring yourself to have that conversation and you feel stuck.
Or, you’ve got to finish that board presentation. But you just keep thinking, I need more information, I need to do more research, I need…..I need…..and again you feel stuck.
And because you're thinking about these things and having these internal “conversations”. You're in inaction. Nothing is happening. You are stuck.
You feel frustrated with yourself and anxious at the looming deadline. You start being harsh on yourself. “Why can’t you just do it?.” “Why is it taking so long?”.
Does this resonate?. I definitely felt the above in my career, both working in law firms and corporates.
I remember my first board presentation. It took me weeks to prepare!. I then did the presentation which took 15 minutes, and the feedback was great. I remember thinking straight afterwards, there is no way I can spend that much time preparing board presentations in the future!
What was holding me back?
I was procrastinating. It took me so long because I was overthinking it, I went into perfectionist mode and nothing was happening.
At the time, I thought it was just me. I thought I just take longer than anybody else. This is the way I work, I need time to process. I thought it was just me.
But the truth is, procrastination and perfectionism are both fear in disguise.
What’s important about Fear?
We always notice when we're not doing anything. But do we ever look behind why we're not doing something?.
I remember spending time with my coach working out why I was procrastinating and what I could do about it.
What is the fear behind procrastination? For some, it’s a fear of failure; the fear of being judged; the fear of being seen as a fraud; the fear of being wrong.
I have felt all of these fears and they always show up in me procrastinating or becoming a perfectionist.
Once I realised this, I was able to spot my fear.
So each time I find myself spending too long on something, I say “Oh, hello, is that fear?. What am I afraid of?
I challenge the fear.
The Fear Challenge
I challenged the beliefs that lay behind the fear. The belief that I would get it wrong, the belief that I wasn't an expert, the belief that I was going to fail, the belief that I was going to be found out. I challenged those beliefs with the facts. What do I know in my heart? Do have I have enough information to make this decision? If, yes, take action (any action, big or small but get acting). If no: take the action to get the information you need.
Procrastinating was sucking up a lot of time and energy. I had less time and energy to spend on things that I enjoy. I felt frustrated, anxious and panicked.
And all because of my fears.
So what happened.
The turning point was discovering that once I'd spotted my fear, I had a choice. Yes!
We have a choice.
Why choose courage over fear?
The choice is between accepting that fear and continuing to make excuses and procrastinate or choose courage, be brave and take action.
If I Iook back at my career. I look at the times when I was brave, when:
I put my hand up and asked to lead a huge project
I had the conversations I really didn’t want to have
I asked for more support
I asked for a promotion
I left private practice and went in house
I left a great legal career to found my business and become a full time coach
How did I feel?. It felt great, I felt joy. I felt more in control. I also grew in each of those moments. I was also petrified at the same time, it felt like I was free falling, praying that the parachute would work! And that's what being brave is all about. It's about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Fear and courage often go hand in hand and are not mutually exclusive.
I have never regretted being brave. I have regretted not doing something.
How to choose courage over fear?
Practice spotting fear. How does it show up for you?
Accept it's a choice to choose courage over fear.
What’s the belief behind the fear? if I follow fear where would I be in a year’s time?. How would I feel?
Ask yourself what does brave look like in this situation?. Can I do this on my own or do I need help?
Focus on what you're trying to achieve. Focus on the end result and ask yourself how you would get there if there was no fear.
Do you have a support network?. Sometimes when we're sitting there in our fear, it's much easier to speak to somebody.
Practice self-compassion and patience with yourself when spotting the fear, challenging the belief behind the fear and choosing how you want to respond.
Choose courage over fear.
I'd love to know about your fears and what two brave things are you doing this week? Please do let me know.