How nurturing your inner cheerleader can crush self-doubt
“you're not like “Albert” who is amazing”, “you’re no expert”. Your inner critic is not helping to lift your mood and create the happy person that you really are.
Well, there's a choice…………
Inner Critic vs Inner Cheerleader
Be honest.
Is your inner cheerleader even in the boxing ring? or is your inner critic the only one with gloves on, punching away?.
Well, we spent some time on how to quiet your inner critic in my masterclass , and my blog, How to take your power back from your inner critic.
It's time to get your inner cheerleader into the boxing ring, to give it a better coach, to give it better gloves, a better outfit and, importantly, a better game plan.
Your inner critic is often responsible for self-doubt and the inner cheerleader can, if you allow it and train it well, fight harder than the inner critic and win!
Here goes.
How to start nurturing your inner cheerleader
Firstly, press pause and have a think.
What do you enjoy doing?.
What does your best friend say about you?.
What do you do that comes easily to you?. Speaking, connecting, teaching, being kind, empathising, sharing, storytelling, seeing the big picture?. These are your superpowers.
What do you do that doesn't feel like work?.
What has brought you the most joy in the last month?
What do others tell you, you are good at?.
What do you enjoy each day?.
Then add: “I am good enough”. “I am worthy”.
Yes, I know your inner critic is back in the boxing ring and giving you a really big thump, but tell her/him/it; this is inner cheerleader time.
Now you've started talking to your inner cheerleader, and listening to her/him/it. Don't forget her/him/it.
Remember what she/he/it has said above and keep reminding yourself each day. Perhaps as the new things you think about when you wake up and go to sleep or when you brush your teeth or when you see a squirrel.
How can you ensure your inner cheerleader stays well and truly in the boxing ring?
This is my way.
I spot my inner critic. I acknowledge it's trying to keep me safe. I thank it, and then I ask and listen to my inner cheerleader, and ask for her thoughts. My inner cheerleaders thoughts always include the answers to the questions above and “I am good enough” and “I am worthy”.
Every morning and every evening in bed, I listen to my inner cheerleader, who gets stronger by reminding me of who I am, my strengths and my superpowers.
I then choose how I want to feel that day.
Yes, we have a choice.
Each evening, I acknowledge myself for three things, not all work related; being kind, being helpful being bold, being brave. Great at spotting my inner critic. I now celebrate my wins each week, including actually spending time on my inner cheerleader.
The importance of the relationship with your inner cheerleader
The relationship with our inner cheerleader is like any relationship, it needs time, focus and engagement. The beauty of this relationship is that we don't have to go anywhere, we can nurture it in bed, walking to the shops, every time we see a Robin or a squirrel. We choose the trigger, but please do choose the times when you will nurture and focus on your inner cheerleader.
Benefits of nurturing your inner cheerleader
makes you happier
less time spent on your inner critic
there's a fair match in the boxing ring
feel more connected
you start listening to a positive internal voice which helps build self-esteem, and inner confidence.
you take power back from the harshness of your inner critic
you pause autopilot habits and consciously choose next steps
you stop choosing the easy jobs to just get stuff done, but there's no magic or stretch
you're reintroducing joy and happiness
you choose the jobs that you really want to do, and you're excited and want to grow and try new things, try different things
It’s ok to be your own cheerleader!
It’s the biggest gift of self-compassion to develop a positive inner voice that encourages you and supports you, one that is kind to you when you make mistakes. We know that being told you're amazing and actually believing it are two very different things. You've got to own it to believe it. You've got to train your inner cheerleader, and the inner voice to say things like, you're lovely, you're kind, you're clever, you're good enough, you're worthy. These affirm the talents that you possess, and give you confidence to build on those foundations, they demonstrate that it is okay to be your own cheerleader.
Turning your focus onto who you are today, and the value that you add is a much better foundations for you to take the next step forward.
5 Steps to nurture your inner cheerleader
1. Acknowledge you have an inner cheerleader
Commit to getting to know and using your inner cheerleader
2. Spot your inner critic
Then remember to ask and listen to your inner cheerleader each time your inner critic speaks
3. Set a trigger for when to listen to your inner cheerleader
Choose a trigger, bed, brushing teeth, seeing a squirrel, robin to make you think about your inner cheerleader each day
4. Be kind to yourself
It will take time and you won’t get it right all of the time. Self-compassion is the antidote to feeling criticised and is an important ingredient to nurture any relationship
5. Celebrate
acknowledging your inner cheerleader and nurturing your relationship with your inner cheerleader on a daily basis
Finally, we all have an inner cheerleader, we don't necessarily talk about it. We often have blocks within us making us think; “it's selfish”, “I don't have time to think about this “, “I'm happy when others are happy” which stop us spending time on our inner cheerleader.
The reality is, when we nurture our inner cheerleader, and focus on our self-love, we are then able to help and serve others so much more. We can't give to others what we don't have ourselves. It's an amazing journey to start nurturing your inner cheerleader. It's important to take small and consistent steps. It's also important to get the support you need. I needed help. It wasn't something I could do automatically on my own. I understood it made sense but I needed support to take action and keep taking action.